Highest Compliments...

“Once a little boy sent me a charming card with a little drawing on it.  I loved it.  I answer all my children’s letters - sometimes very hastily - but this one I lingered over.  
       I sent him a card and I drew a picture of a Wild Thing on it.  I wrote, “Dear Jim:  I loved your card.”
       Then I got a letter back from his mother and she said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.”  
       That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received.  He didn’t care that it was an original Maurice Sendak drawing or anything.
       He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.”
       -Maurice Sendak 

All Things Denote There Is a God!

       One line I particularly love in The Book of Mormon is : “...all things denote there is a God!” (in Alma 30:44).  It a sentiment I’ve always felt.
       In fact, I remember when I read Charlotte's Web and the spider spun words into his web and people were amazed. And, yes, it was miraculous.

       But honestly, isn't it almost as amazing that a spider can spin a web in the first place (with words or not).  Think about it. We take so many things for granted.  The incredible skills of animals are fascinating.  Especially how different species have such unique abilities (i.e. that spiders spin webs).  
       In E. B. White’s fiction we all recognize Charlotte’s superpowers because they aren’t exactly real.  But, the things that animals do that are real; well, these are testament to me that there is a God!  
       The way everything works in the world is far too intricate and detailed to be happenstance.  At least that’s my take on it.  Just like Alma tells us.    

We’ll Eat You Up, We Love You So!

A writer of passion and heart
Made picture books into an art,
With bold exhortations
To three generations:
“And, now, let the wild rumpus start!”  -Dr. Goose
          When Paige texted the family early yesterday that Maurice Sendak died, it felt like a close friend passed away.  I grew up adoring Sendak & Seuss.  Then, in a children’s lit class in college I was fascinated to learn about Sendak’s curmudgeonly ways, his childhood insecurities and his life-long struggle with melancholia.
          I love that Sendak is celebrated as  “the most important children’s book artist of the 20th century, who wrenched the picture book out of the safe, sanitized world of the nursery and plunged it into the dark, terrifying and hauntingly beautiful recesses of the human psyche” (NY Times).  His honestly in prose and illustrations probably helped me feel more “normal,” if, like Max, I flew into a rage, or needed to get away (but eventually needed to return home too). I think his works are brilliant and timeless.     
          When asked about his "wild things” illustrations, Sendak always maintained (and I love this) that “he was drawing his relatives - who, in his memory at least, had hovered like a pack of middle-aged gargoyles above the childhood sickbed to which he was often confined.” (NY Times).  Classic!
          Sendak also didn’t exactly view himself as a children’s writer per se.  In fact, having no children of his own, he occasionally admitted to being a bit frightened by kids.  He once noted that he preferred children as few and far between as adults, and then admitted to being less tolerant of adults than children.  A homebody and a bit of a recluse but an incredibly gifted man.  Rest In Peace Maurice Sendak! "Merry Once, Merry Twice, Merry Chicken Soup with Rice!"

A Tribute to the Berenstain Bears...

“They say jokes don’t travel well, but family humor does. Family values is what we are all about.” -Jan Berenstain

Jan Berenstain, 88 years old, of The Berenstain Bears books died of a stroke last Friday. Her husband, the co-author and co-illustrator of the 300 plus book collection passed away back in 2005.

Not everyone loved the Berenstain Bears book; some critics find them too didactic. But, the books with moral lessons from an anthropomorphic family of bears have sold over 260 million copies in 23 languages since 1962 (not bad!).

The books cover the host of issues kids go through: the arrival of a baby sibling from the hospital, visiting the dentist, poor sportsmanship, going camping, dealing with bullies, and so on (ad nauseam!). The book’s themes of safety, manners, loyalty, honestly, etc. literally run the gamut!

The bear stories pretty much follow a formula: The action begins when Brother Bear or Sister Bear faces a problem. They turn to Papa Bear, whose solution to the problem usually makes things worse. Then Mama Bear (our hero!), enters in and makes everything right. Aha!, no wonder mothers everywhere endorse, buy, and read these books to their kids!

The books pale in comparison to Dr. Seuss for me personally (they’re cute but a little syrupy), but the Berenstain Bears books are clearly a huge franchise in themselves (think Happy Meals toys to Berenstain Bears Graham Cracker Cookies). In fact, in 2009, Walden Media announced a feature length film on the Berenstain Bears books but the movie, described as something like the movie Elf, is still in the script phase of production.

Even though I find them in a different category than Dr. Seuss (ie. not exactly classic) they’ve clearly had a huge impact on children for the past 50 years (myself included). They were read to me, I read them to my kids, and thanks to my Mom giving us a massive collection, I’ll be able to read them to my grandkids too, which is all pretty cool, even if they’re a little saccharin.

“It’s wonderful to do something you love for so many years. Not everyone has that.” -Jan Berenstain

Libraries...what’s not to love!

"I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library.” -Jorge Luis Borges, Argentine poet

The new Los Gatos Library finally opened last Saturday. It culminates a 20 million dollar project for the town; 30,000 square feet of books, a technology lab, children’s area, computer bar, and even an outdoor patio.

How lucky am I to live a few blocks from a brand new library? Very lucky indeed! I’m pretty stoked! In fact, if we ever move, I’ll make sure the real estate stats sheet lists “walking distance to local library” as one of the highlights of our home!

"Book lovers will understand me, and they will know too, that part of the pleasure of a library lies in its very existence.” - Jan Morris

So many books, so little time...

The required reading for my classes this quarter is a whopping 14 textbooks! And that doesn’t even include any of the recommended reading.

I like to read but some of these textbooks are incredibly difficult to slog through and even harder to understand. Yesterday I spent the entire day reading and I didn’t come close to what is due for my classes next Monday/Tuesday.

I thought I was a fairly fast reader but come to find out, that is apparently when I’m reading novels or books of my choice. I was much slower yesterday struggling to understand terminology or grasp new concepts. Reading will now be my go-to in every spare waking minute for the next few months. And, unfortunately, I don’t think I’ll have much extra time for pleasure reading during this quarter.

Some days I wonder “what was I thinking?” about returning to school. The work definitely feels harder in your 50’s than in your 20’s. At least from my vantage point, that is.

The Lump of Coal...

“It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season - like all the other seasons - is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them, and that’s the end of this particular story.” -Lemony Snicket

The holiday season is a good time to zero in and recognize the miracles that happen daily. I get so distracted by the unimportant things that I’m going to make a better effort this year to notice and watch for miracles.

Yesterday I found it quite miraculous that after my lengthy dental appointments from Monday I had no pain. The endodontist gave me a rundown on expected swelling, told me to expect soreness and prescribed vicodin for pain. I haven’t even bothered to fill the prescription since I’m not swollen or sore of hurting at all.

It’s just a little thing but these kinds of things happen all the time! Even to the lump of coal in Lemony Snicket’s story!

My pile of books is a mile high...

“Books to the ceiling,

Books to the sky,

My pile of books is a mile high.

How I love them! How I need them!

I’ll have a long beard by the time I read them.”

-Arnold Lobel

I always have a pile of books stacked up waiting for me to find extra reading time. My pile always sports an eclectic mix of titles and authors. But this past fall, with my return to school, most of my reading has been in the pages of my textbooks. Hence, my book pile has grown with less time for pleasure reading.

But the school quarter wrapped up yesterday. And suddenly I have a greater appreciation for the opportunity to read anything in my stack. No assigned reading throughout the entire holiday. I can start or finish or skim any books I want. I can hardly wait.

At the top of my list to read is Ann Patchett’s State of Wonder. I had to restrain myself from starting it during school, lest I abandon coursework in favor of a good novel.

There is no possible way I’ll read through my whole pile of books before winter quarter begins at Santa Clara. But I’m delighted to just have a crack at it for a couple of weeks. Happy Reading to Me!

“Many people, myself among them, feel better at the mere sight of a book.” -Jane Smiley

Black and White....

“I began dividing life in absolutes... things and people were either perfectly bad, or perfectly good, and when life didn’t obey this black-and-white rule, when things or people were complex and contradictory, I pretended otherwise.

I turned every defeat into a disaster, every success into an epic triumph, and separated all people into heroes or villains. Unable to bear ambiguity, I built a barricade of delusions against it.” -J. R. Moehringer

While there are certain absolutes and some things in life that are clearly black and white with no wiggle room, black and white thinking can also be a problem for areas where shades of gray are appropriate.

I learned about a psychoanalytic term in class called splitting that reminds me of the quote above. Splitting can be a normal developmental process in toddlers or a defensive one as well. For example, a child who sees a babysitter as all bad because she won’t give him candy is splitting. The process of splitting may also be called all or nothing thinking in psychology. Whatever it’s called, beware of processing people or information or life into such distinct categories.

Library Loot...

“Medicine for the soul.” -inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes

While the quote above is true, trips to the library can also be hazardous to my health! It seems I always return home with an eclectic assortment of new books to devour. And while I haven’t actually eaten any yet, I do get sidetracked by a stack of good reads which can wreak havoc on exercise or getting off my duff. Basically with an armload of books all I want to do is read 24/7.

The greatest part of checking out versus purchasing books is the ability to load up a bundle and then peruse which ones are worthy of a skim, which are a waste of my time, and which books are so great I want to own them personally.

This week my library book pile includes: a book about the brain, a book about relationships, a book about world religions, a fitness book, two works of fiction, and last, but not least, the autobiography “Open” by Andre Agassi (which was the reason I stopped by the library in the first place). Yes, just like the grocery store, you may enter for that one thing but exit with unplanned but irresistible loot.

So far, I like all the books I checked out this week. Which means I need to discipline myself to specific book time lest I crawl up in a corner chair refusing to do anything else but read. So many books, so little time! Well, I suppose I do have 3 weeks until their due date, but who wants to wait that long!

“He fed his spirit with the bread of books.” -Edwin Markham

The one inside of your head...

I recently read "Traveling with Pomegranates: A Mother-Daughter Story" a non-fiction work by Sue Monk Kidd and her daughter, Ann Kidd Taylor. It's a great book but many women are more familiar with Kidd's novels, especially after "The Secret Life of Bees" became a bestseller (which I also read and loved).

Kidd is a gifted writer and both her fiction and non-fiction books seem to have an overarching theme of listening to our inner voice. Kidd understands it’s a daunting task, it's a road she's been traveling ever since she launched into writing despite her own feelings of inadequacy.

I also read a commencement address Sue Monk Kidd gave at Scripps College in 2010. Once again, this idea of finding a purpose grand enough for our life is Kidd's mantra. While encouraging the students to seek meaning in their lives she shares a passage from her novel to explain this premise.

As background information for context of the quote, in The Secret Life of Bees, Lily is a teenage runaway who finds refuge among a group of African American women who turn to a statue of a black Madonna for strength and consolation. August Boatright lives in a bright pink house that houses the Madonna icon.

One day August says to Lily, "Listen to me now. I'm going to tell you something I want you to always remember. Okay? The black Madonna is not some magical being out there, like a fairy godmother. She's not the statue in the parlor. She's something inside of you. When you're unsure of yourself, when you start pulling back into small living and into doubt, she's the one inside of your head, all day long saying, 'Lily, don't be afraid. Don't ever be afraid. I am enough. We are enough.’”

Library Lust...

"I do things like get in a taxi and say, "The library, and step on it." -David Foster Wallace

I love that quote! Since my local library is merely blocks away I don't need taxi service but I can totally relate to the excitement of getting to the library asap!

Truth be told, one big perk that weighed heavily in purchasing the home we live in was it's close proximity to the town library. Okay, I liked the 7-11 too, back when I was a Big Gulp frequent buyer. Now I never go to 7-11 anymore but I’m still a library frequent loaner.

While the Los Gatos Library is a small and imperfect library, it is still a library. And, a big renovation is currently in the works. Renovation is probably an understatement, the town is building a brand new 12 million dollar, 30,000 square foot library, due to open in February 2012. As a town member and library patron I’m delighted!

Happily, the old library will stay open during the construction. Sadly, the only bookstore in Los Gatos, Borders, is closing imminently due to the company’s bankruptcy restructure plan. Which makes me feel guilty about books I purchased on Amazon or the outskirts of town at Barnes & Noble. I know I need to support the local haunts if I want them to thrive.

Of course, supporting libraries is a charge I take very seriously! Have library card, will travel!

“If you had a choice between spending a summer in Nepal and spending a summer in the library, go to the library.” -Annie Dillard

A Time, A Place, and a Way of Life Long Gone...

“Retrospection can be illuminating, it can be numbing, it can be sobering; it can be fruitful, it can gladden my heart, and it can drown me in despair. But looking back on my early days on our farm in Iowa, I find that I take enormous satisfaction in my memories of the past, and my reflections on how that time, so rich, so satisfying, so fulfilling, yet so undeniably challenging, affected me.” -Mildred Armstrong Kalish

“Little Heathens” took me by surprise (of the pleasant sort). It was our Bookgroup selection on Tuesday night and I did not expect to like it as much as I did.

Memoirs are a popular literary genre but lately I’ve noticed abundant use of contemporary writers to use traumas in their past to explain or justify their sordid lives. Emotional tales of abuse, neglect, addiction, etc. has almost become a gimmick to rationalize bad behavior, lack of character, et al.

Mildred Kalish, the author of “Little Heathens,” is the opposite extreme. Her book is a detailed account of growing up during the Great Depression on a farm in Garrison, Iowa. While Kalish is completely pragmatic about the difficulties, her optimistic nature depicts a childhood that she endearingly describes as “quite a romp.”

Let’s face it, those 1930’s depression years were tough on everyone and on top of the widespread economic woes, Kalish’s father was exiled from the family by her maternal grandfather for reasons only alluded to (bankruptcy, bootlegging and jail time) and the family never spoke of him again.

Instead of dwelling on the pain of not having a father figure in the home, Kalish gives an incredibly rich look of her family’s experiences and how these shaped who she became. Kalish is a great writer and her exacting memory makes for a great narrative. The book was completely delightful; I give it a hearty endorsement!

“Isn’t it perfectly obvious to all that those early childhood experiences, under those special conditions with those particular relatives on that Iowa farm, prepared me for the modestly successful, hugely satisfying, truly blessed life that has been my lot? I shall always be grateful.” -Mildred Armstrong Kalish

Happy Birthday Relief Society!

We had a lovely Relief Society Birthday Celebration on Tuesday night chaired by Tia Barth. Jen Smith offered her home and cooking skills to provide a cozy setting and delicious dinner.

The theme was The Hundred Dresses and all partygoers were asked to bring a dress to donate to a woman's shelter. The hundred dresses comes from a wonderful Newbery Honor children's book by Eleanor Estes, published in 1944.

The book shares the story of a poor Polish immigrant, Wanda Petronski, who wears the same faded old blue dress to school every day. Trying to fit in with the other girls Wanda describes in detail the hundred dresses she claims to have at home. Her classmates tease her and suddenly one day Wanda has moved away.

Maddie and Peggy later discover that Wanda didn't have actual dresses at home but she did have 100 intricate drawings of beautiful dresses. Maddie is haunted by the way she and her friends treated Wanda and regrets never doing anything to stop the mocking even though it made Maddie feel uncomfortable. Maddie realized she'd been fearful that if she stood up for Wanda her friends might turn on her and ridicule her.

It's a charming old book and some would say a little overtly didactic but I don't really mind kid lit with characters like Maddie who grow through experience, even if the author's moralizing is a tad obvious.

Hey, if it helps me think about compassion and the importance of standing up for what is right, I'm not opposed to some blatant gestures of moral instruction through story telling. Although I know children's literature professors who believe books intended to teach lessons are blasphemous! Oh, well! I like them anyway.

Maddie's recognition of her role in hurting Wanda reminds me of the famous Abraham Lincoln quote: "To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men."

Good Samaritans on Steroids....

For Bookgroup last night we read "The Day The World Came To Town" by Jim DeFede. The book showcases the wonderful people in the small town of Gander, Newfoundland, Canada who open their doors and their hearts to over 6500 people when 38 airplanes were rerouted on 9/11 after all America airspace was closed down.

Gander itself only has a population of around 10,000 people and the stories of this community stepping in to help the stranded passengers is touching. I recommend the book to anyone, especially if you like reading about charity in action.

With all the tragic stories that came out of 9/11, some of the books published were too heartbreaking to read. But this book brings out the tremendous "good" that sometimes comes out of "evil."

It shows a side to tragedy when people rescue strangers in need without any motivation for gain or recognition. It shows the very best of humanity!

I was inspired by the compassion and warmth of the citizens of Gander. Their generous response made me stop and consider how I might have reacted. Would I be willing to drop whatever I was doing to help? Would Los Gatos, as a community, 3 times the size of Gander, reach out to others if we were in a similar position? Is our pace here too busy?

It also made me pause to think about the stranded passengers; an eclectic group of people thrown together who bond from the experience. But, again, if I'd been on one of those flights would I have been as resilient? Appreciative? Would I express my gratitude to the Gander residents for their service? Or would I whine and complain?

A quote from the book's introduction sums up how fabulous this community was: "They placed their lives on hold for a group of strangers and asked for nothing in return. They affirmed the basic goodness of man at a time when it was easy to doubt such humanity existed. If the terrorists had hoped their attacks would reveal the weaknesses in western society, the events in Gander proved it's strength." -Jim Defede

The Fringe Benefits of Failure...

"A mere 7 years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless." -J.K. Rowling

The new Harry Potter movie (Paige saw it at midnight opening night) has me thinking about the commencement speech JK Rowling gave at Harvard in June, 2008. Rowling talked about the fringe benefits of failure and the importance of imagination. I think I'll just take on failure now and post on imagination later.

Anyway, J.K. Rowling believes that failing at life post college was a blessing in disguise for her personally. While failing was not fun, Rowling learned that she was stronger than she thought. And, once she saw she could survive failure, Rowling emerged strong and wiser from the setbacks.

Since failure along the course of life is inevitable for all of us (even Harvard graduates) it's nice to see the best-selling writer of all-time attribute some of her success to things she learned about herself when she failed.

Perhaps my favorite soundbite from Rowling's commencement address is when she tells the graduates that they can't spend the rest of their lives blaming their parents when their lives don't go as planned. Actually, she stated it more eloquently, so read the direct quote below and imagine the British accent....

"There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you." -J. K. Rowling

The Fullness of the Soul...

"As if the fullness of the soul

did not sometimes overflow in the

emptiest metaphors, since no one

can ever give the exact measure

of his needs, nor of his conceptions,

nor of his sorrows; and since

human speech is like a cracked

tin kettle, on which we hammer

out tunes to make bears dance

when we long to move the stars."

-Madam Bovary, Gustave Flaubert

I have to confess that I have never actually read Madam Bovary. What kind of an English major was I? But, oh, I do love the quote above, and yes, it does make me want to read Flaubert. As well as move the stars!

Extraordinary & Terrifical!

"Quite often somebody will say, "What year do your books take place? and the only answer I can give is, in childhood." -Beverly Cleary

Perhaps Beverly Cleary was the J.K. Rowling of my generation. Which would make Ramona Quimby the 1960's Harry Potter and Cleary's most popular character.

Beverly Cleary is an extraordinary children's book author and the new movie, Ramona and Beezus, produced by Walden Media (Webb's employers! Go Webb!) is terrifical! Terrifical = a custom word coined by Ramona herself! Aside from language (bad words - er, Ramona says "guts" twice) the show is pretty clean! It's rated "G" (maybe G for guts)!

During childhood I read every Beverly Cleary book, starting with Henry Higgins and Henry's skinny dog, Ribsy. But with the "Ramona" books I found a protagonist I completely identified with. As far as my older sister's were concerned, I probably was Ramona! Ramona the Pest, that is! I was the troublemaker tomboy kid sister with a vivid imagination, quirky behavior, and a predilection for mischief making! Ramona the Pest had nothing on me!

I think Beverly Cleary, 94 years old and living in Carmel, California, will approve of the movie. Walden Media did a great job! The movie does a nice job of capturing Ramona's complexity; she's a nuisance but endearing! Ramona's not just a tagalong little sister or a stubborn meddlesome student, she's also sensitive and tries hard to solve problems.

Beverly Cleary once said that while she was a rather quiet child, she had "Ramona-like thoughts!" I'm afraid I have to concede to Ramona-like thoughts as well as Ramona-like behavior (as a child, that is)!

Side note: The photo of Beverly Cleary reminds me of President Hinckley's wife, Marjorie Pay Hinckley. See the resemblance?

"Problem solving, and I don't mean algebra, seems to be my life's work. Maybe it's everyone's life work." -Beverly Cleary

Choose Wisely!

"Choose your books as wisely as you choose your friends." -advice given to Mary Pipher by her Grandmother

Mary Pipher is one of my mentors! She's a clinical psychologist but became a well known writer when one of her early books on eating disorders for teenage girls, Reviving Ophelia, hit the bestseller lists.

I've read all of Mary Pipher's books and find her traditional approaches to treating behavioral issues refreshing. Pipher's a big fan of families sitting down for dinner together! Amen to that idea! Her therapy work with clients might involve getting them out to exercise, finding beauty in nature, or taking on a service project.

I could end up writing numerous blogs about Pipher's counsel because her philosophies on life are really consistent with my beliefs. I find her insight wise, her advice clever, and her approach to treatment pragmatic but creative.

I love the quote I opened with! So, it isn't just friends who influence me for good and ill. Books, music, media of all types have an impact! I totally concur with this notion. While our circle of influence can be far reaching likewise the things that influence me is a wide net as well. I need to exercise caution on any source of influence that is not uplifting!

Regarding the power of music, I like the way President Monson expressed it in April's General Conference when he said: "Music can help you draw closer to your Heavenly Father. It can be used to educate, edify, inspire, and unite. However, music can, by it's tempo, beat, intensity, and lyrics, dull your spiritual sensitivity. You cannot afford to fill your minds with unworthy music."

I suppose it behooves me to stretch Pipher's grandmother's admonishment to choosing all my media (books, TV, movies, music) as wisely as I choose my friends!

It's a Sin To Kill A Mockingbird!

Atticus Finch! A favorite (albeit fictional) Hero! The first time I read To Kill A Mockingbird in junior high, it made me proud that just like Scout's father, my father was also a lawyer!

Our Bookgroup discussed the novel Tuesday night. While it wasn't exactly a rousing or spirited discussion, Harper Lee's book is a wonderful classic! And, as Lee's only novel, (albeit a Pulitzer Prize winning one) the book is definitely a one hit wonder!

Several passages this reading gave me insight to the "old book, new perspective" concept!

Imagine my surprise at the opening line in Chapter 10 when Scout states: "Atticus was feeble: he was nearly fifty." Excuse me? Feeble? (as in, lacking vigor, weak, inadequate) And only nearly fifty? Yikes, it makes me wonder how Scout would describe me; 51st birthday looming ahead!

Early in the novel Scout remarks on her frustrations with Atticus. Some of Scout's laments were that Atticus didn't "do anything that could possibly arouse the admiration of anyone." and "Besides that, he wore glasses." (the shame!) "He did not play poker or fish or drink or smoke. He sat in the living room and read." Perhaps, worst of all, on top of those flaws, Atticus "would not remain as inconspicuous as we wished him to."

But Scout came to see her father differently following some dramatic events. Near the end of the book, Scout remarked, "At the same time I marveled at Atticus. This was the first time he had let us know he knew a lot more about something than we thought he knew."

Scout's character reminds me of the famous Mark Twain quote: "When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years." (change the ages and years; dead ringer for Scout)

Just like Scout, I'm still learning along the way (yes, even in my feeble 50's!). One great concept I learn over and over (sometimes on a daily basis) is voiced by Atticus at the very end of the book. Scout is half asleep rambling to Atticus about someone everyone thought was bad but then Scout discovers, that actually, ..."he was real nice." To which Atticus wisely replies: "Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them."