Up At Sunrise Seminarians....Because Seminary makes Us STRONG!

"Teachers not only teach history, algebra, and science, but what we call the intangibles: all about life, love, leadership, and happiness - you know, the things that really matter." -L. Swanzy

Check out the '09-'10 Los Gatos Seminary Crew! What a great group of youth. Not a single annoying one in the whole bunch!

We had to photoshop Kevin Harrington into the picture since he missed class. And in our "Act Crazy" photo Jared and Aaron's heads were hidden so Trevor Hegstrom helped us decapitate them from another picture and rest their heads on Kevin's hands! The end result is quite a unique shot!

Our class is a total mix of talents and abilities. We've got everything from a semi-pro Kite Boarder (Blake) to our 3 point Basketball Ace (Michael) to Running Speed Demon (Rose) to School Band Star (MaryAnne playing the Tuba), etc. They're a multifaceted group for sure! Their main commonality is definitely the church. But they are all kind hearted; albeit not the closest of friends (yet anyway).

I've been impressed that most of this group attends Seminary because they WANT to be there! I don't think there is a single one that is forced by their parents to come. They are just good kids! And I think (I hope) that they can see that starting their high school day with a little dose of Seminary just makes things go better generally! I can honestly say that teaching Seminary gets me off on better footing for my days! It's a relentless calling in terms of preparation but pretty rewarding both in learning AND enjoying a cute group of kids! I mean could you resist the rascals pictured here? And, yes, that is ME on the far right with a look like: "What have I gotten myself into?!"

"Your Call Is Very Important To Us!" .....NOT!

Rule #1: The Customer is Always Right!

Rule #2: If the Customer is Ever Wrong, Reread Rule #1.

Since I posted about the great customer service at Jack in the Box I should be allowed to vent about lousy customer service too. I've been procrastinating a list of phone calls I need to make (insurance, Mastercard, airline reservations, etc). And it hit me, why the delay....I can't stand the run around, getting put on hold, voice recordings to press 1 for "this", press 2 for "that", and press 3 if you want to strangle someone!

Is there anything more annoying!? I'm not an incessant whiner but if I'm put on hold and told that "My Call is Very Important" it is highly unlikely that I'll believe it! I'm a VIP to you...Yeah, Right! So pick up the phone!

I'm curious who had the harebrained idea to record the dumb "your call yadda, yadda" spiel in the first place? Who started it and why did it become so popular when customers abhor it? I'll have to look into the history behind the phenomenon.

It turns out that research validates my emotional frustrations! Data shows that people are more willing to wait when they feel like there is movement. This concept makes sense to me. If I'm stuck in traffic, airport security, or even a line at Disneyland, I tolerate the wait better if I am at least moving. And, on a phone call "hold" it is hard to know whether you are making any progress. Although some companies now give "time of wait" estimates for the call (which customers like, especially when the estimate time is updated, showing movement/progress).

In today's fast-paced world there is even more reason for businesses to LISTEN to their customer base. As Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO, said: "If you make customers unhappy in the physical world, they might each tell 6 friends. If you make customers unhappy on the Internet, they can each tell 6000 friends." And, conversely, "A Happy Customer is like a Walking Advertisement!" I'm not sure who said that but they probably answered their own company phone.

First, We Make Our HABITS, Then Our HABITS Make Us!

"The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half." -Fedor Dostoevsky

Studies have shown that 45 percent of what we do everyday is habitual - that is, performed almost without thinking in the same location, or at the same time each day, usually because of subtle cues. Or as Frank Clark put it "A habit is something you can do without thinking - which is why most of us have so many of them."

I've been thinking about HABITS this week as we try to get our students programmed to do certain things on autopilot (like read their scriptures daily and come to class on time). It is so interesting to think about how similarly we construct both a good habit and conversely a bad habit.

To develop a good habit the psychology suggests that exercising self control in any area of your life may help you regulate in other areas too. There was a Posture Experiment (The Baumeister study) where college students were asked to work on their posture over a two week period - improving it whenever possible. Students who worked on posture actually improved their self-control in other areas too. Baumeister and his colleagues show that self-regulation can act like a muscle! A muscle that can be trained to get stronger... or if weak, becomes easily fatigued.

Self-regulation becomes our personality process to exert control over our thoughts, feelings, and actions. Under this theory one of the best ways to create good habits in any area would be to structure something simple into our life that doesn't turn everything upside down but creates enough structure that we will see change and that change will create further change, etc. Jim Ryun said that "Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going."

So it all sounds well and good but the biggest frustration I have regarding habits is exactly what Somerset Maughan describes: "The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so much easier to give up than bad ones." Gosh, darn....wouldn't it be great if it were just the other way around!

The Blessing of LIFE LONG Friendships!

"Sociologists now have data showing that women who can maintain friendships through the decades are healthier and happier, with stronger marriages." -Wall Street Journal Columnist Jeffrey Zaslow

Women who nuture decades-long friendships have said they feel like Traveling Companions; sharing the same point on the same timeline, hitting the same milestones together. This picture is a high school version of me with some of my Traveling Companions on the sidelines of a Highland High School Football game! The photo was probably taken in 1976. From left to right: Linda Dunn, Shelly Tingey, K2, and Diane Judkins.

As my kids know, Linda and Shelly are two of my dearest lifelong friends. Diane and I stay is touch more through other mutual friends. But all four in the photo are happily married. I was the last wedding of the 4 in the picture so most couples are getting close to 30 years of married life! All 4 of us are healthy and active too!

Columnist Jeffrey Zaslow also says that "Women who maintain long friendships believe their relationships thrive because they had raised some expectations and lowered others. They had come to expect loyalty and good wishes from each other, but not constant attention. If a friend didn't return an email or phone call, they realized it didn't mean she was angry or backing away from the friendship; she was likely just exhausted from her day."

Researchers say that if women are still friends at age forty, there's a strong likelihood they'll be lifelong friends. "Female friends show us a mirror of ourselves," one researcher said. I have had amazing friends in my life and some of the most incredible ones are girlfriends I have known the very longest! I hope all of my kids will be as lucky in the friend department as I have been! It has been a huge blessing to have girlfriends who I look up to and admire!

Spencer visits the Emergency Room...

Last night Spencer Bryan broke his arm at Soccer Practice! Obviously this photo was taken a week or so ago since he'll now be sporting a big white cast! ...On his left arm and luckily he isn't a southpaw.

Spencer just started 1st grade at Van Meter Elementary. We ADORE Spencer! Before his little sister Emily's arrival; Spencer was Andie's favorite sidekick. When Andie moved home from San Francisco three and a half years ago, Spencer wasn't quite three. He quickly became a perfect playmate for Andie. Spencer is sweet and non judgmental, always available, willing to go anywhere or do anything, pretty much as easy going as they come! Anyone who can tolerate Andie's endless photo sessions deserves a medal and Spencer would qualify!

Well, in honor of Spencer's Broken Arm, I'll share a "dumb blonde" joke I heard related to broken bones.

A blonde walks into a Doctor's office and tells the Doctor she's broken EVERY SINGLE BONE in her body. "That's Impossible!" says the Doctor.

The blonde says, "No, it's really true. Look!" She then touches her leg with her index finger and screams "Ouch!" Then she touches her arm and yells "Eeeeoooow!" Finally she touches her ribs and can barely maintain her composure as the tears start to roll down her face. She says, "See, I told you I broke every bone in my body."

The Doctor rubs his chin, then conducts a thorough examination. "Well, miss," he tells her, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, you haven't broken every bone in your body. The bad news is, you've broken your finger."

The NORDSTROM of the Fast Food Industry!

"The Customer is Always Right!" Unless they happen to be Wrong! Which happened to me, the Consumer, last summer at Jack in the Box. Only this is not a rant on poor customer service because this time being wrong (or misinformed really) gave an employee an opportunity to go above and beyond their duty to be nice (accommodating, generous, etc).

One morning I ordered a Diet Coke from the Drive Thru Window. Later on (yes, I drink too much soda!), I returned and ordered another. But as I pulled up at the window the nice young man remembered me from earlier (yes, that is embarrassing) and asked me why I didn't come inside and REFILL my drink. Since I assumed the "free refills" concept applied while eating in the lovely Jack in the Box Dining Room, I told him I didn't think I was eligible to fill up a cup I had bought hours ago and taken home.

I was assured that I was more than welcome to REFILL anytime during the day of purchase. Unlimited Free Refills?! Really?! This was GOOD and BAD news! Good/Great - on the pocketbook but Bad/Disastrous - for anyone trying to quit an insidious habit of drinking caffeinated beverages!

So, while the friendly fast food franchise has NOT helped me wean-myself-from-Diet-Coke; you can't argue that their Customer Service is Great! Free Refills - All Day! That Jack! He Really is a Nice Guy!

The Power of a Book......

"It is not just that The Book of Mormon teaches us truth, though it indeed does that. It is not just that The Book of Mormon bears testimony of Christ, though it indeed does that, too. But there is something more. There is a power in the book which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book. You will find great power to resist temptation. You will find the power to stay on the strait and narrow path. When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance." -President Ezra Taft Benson

That is a long quote to share but today was the first day of Seminary for the school year. We have a great class; fifteen awesome Los Gatos High School Youth! 100% attendance today! And this year the course of study is The Book of Mormon. When you read the promise above with a class of kids who are willing to show at 6:30 am every morning to study the scriptures; there is a great feeling (and power) in the room! We have an amazing combination this year of wonderful kids and a great topic to study! It feels like it is going to be The Perfect Storm for an incredible year in Seminary!

"Wanted: A Wife!" or "Available for Adoption!"

"Everyone needs a wife. I mean that 1950s kind of wife that bakes and cleans and takes care of ALL THAT STUFF." -stated by a female author on a radio talk show

I can't decide whether I want to BE just like Gladys or HAVE a Gladys (as in Gladys could adopt me). Gladys Goertzen is Julie Holland's Very Amazing Mom! But I think it might just be a ruse. I think Gladys might really be MARY POPPINS (disguised as a suburban southern California grandmother).

Whenever Gladys visits the Hollands; she works non-stop and according to Julie, she likes to be busy! She helps Julie with the laundry, the housecleaning, the cooking, the carpool driving. She's a 24/7 Girl Friday! When the Hollands returned home from their European vacation last week, Gladys arrived a day early with baked goodies, did some grocery shopping and prepared a warm dinner for their arrival! When Gladys is in town it's almost like Julie has a wife!

The author who stated that EVERYONE needs a wife was not referring just to men. Her point was that we could all use "that someone who helps us keep our life running smoothly." With all the details in anyones day-to-day existence there are so many "details" (appointments to be scheduled, shopping to be done, maintenance of things we've bought, planning ahead, decisions, and minutiae galore). Quite honestly, we could all use a Gladys kind of person in our lives; she is low key but is there on the ready and willing to hunker down and work hard! Yes, Julie and the Hollands have a very good thing going!

Leaving On A Jet Plane! I Know When I'll Be Back Again!

"Parents! Can't Live With 'Em, Can't Live Without 'Em." -this quote is dedicated to frustrated offspring everywhere

So, Paige finally gets rid of me today! But not for long! Looks like BYU Parents Weekend is just a month away! And if you ever wondered "Whose Parents Actually Go To Parent's Weekend?" Well, that would be US!

We're your typical Helicopter Parents trying hard to be a little less intrusive in our Adult Children's Lives! They just have to learn a little patience; it's a PROCESS! I mean, you can't go from fixing their oatmeal and cutting their toenails, to letting them THINK they can actually carry on just fine without you? Can you?

My parents weren't the hovering type but I WAS Fiercely Independent so I do remember wanting to figure it out All-On-My-Own-Thank-You-Very-Much! Unless, of course, I WANTED help! Then, help couldn't come fast enough! I still remember a day when my car broke down at the intersection by the U campus that EVERYONE drove by. I was so upset and so embarrassed. I called my Dad at his office ranting as if the car problems were all HIS fault (simply because he was the car owner). I'm sure I was demanding and insolent while my Dad calmly solved the problem and rescued me!

I definitely remember feeling SORT OF grown up; at least wanting the rights and privileges of adulthood EXCEPT that darn "responsibilities" part! That sounded a little OMINOUS!

Our kids are still in the throes of this stage of interdependence and so far our family is surviving it (rustling a few feathers sometimes - but how could you not?) After a little rocky terrain, it seems like most families get it figured out so everyone is happy! For now, I think Paige was quite happy to have a little parental help getting her new digs all set up (and we both think it is looking pretty fine!)

Moving In! Scoping out the Neighborhood!

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches." -Lemony Snicket

Yeah, it's a little sad to see Paige leave LG for awhile but today we'll be moving her into her new CRIB in The Avenues! I'm a pretty good mover; at least I like the challenge of setting up a room. Organizing! Seriously, what could be more fun?

By my third kid in college I'm getting adept at surveying the lay of the land and finding a good place for things. If I ever designed dorm rooms I would just have wall to wall, ceiling to floor shelving! Shelves Up, Shelves Down, Shelves Throughout! You can never have too many places to put things!

Half the battle for girls is the problem of too many clothes and too little closet space! Guys are lucky because if they wear the same thing over and over, nobody cares. But when I wear the same thing over and over; it gets dubbed my new "uniform!" Lately this has been my black capri pants with a plum Lacoste (but not today....I'm branching out a bit, blue capri and a pink Lacoste...maybe).

So, today we'll unload and then check out the neighborhood! Provo has changed quite a bit since I was at BYU 30 years ago! Private rooms for one thing: nobody lived in a private room back then (at least nobody I knew). Well, according to Gladys there is "alot of cleaning to do" so we'd better go and get started! The Gladys & K2 Cleaning Crew - We could start a new business venture!

Road Trip

"On the road again,

Just can't wait to get on the road again."

-Willie Nelson

This trip to Utah isn't a solo drive like my last voyage. This time it's a bona fide ROAD TRIP! Meaning, there are fun people along for the ride, multiple drivers, excitement galore! Well, okay, the Bay Area to Utah journey is hard to call "exciting" BUT we'll make sure it is an ADVENTURE!

The trick to driving long distance is an ipod filled with good music, audio books, and podcasts. Listening to good stuff makes the hours fly by!

Leaving early is another trick but I had to compromise on the hour of departure. When I said "5 am," Paige recanted with "6 am," so I guess I should have lobbied for "4 am." Next time I'll be a more clever negotiator!

Those are the 2 tricks I have up my sleeve! One puzzle I'm still trying to solve is the dilemma of needing Diet Coke to stay alert but the Diet Coke increases the frequency of bathroom stops! Go figure?! I heard a rumor that Uncle Bruce just pees in a cup (or maybe he just forces that on his passengers; Webb's done it at least once riding to Sun Valley with the Olsens!). And I once read about a demented woman who drove long distance wearing a diaper! If that seems a little extreme I should add that she was headed to kidnap her ex-boyfriend's new flame. So the erratic behavior was just part of the package! How do you spell C-R-A-Z-Y?

So, for this drive, we'll depart at 6 am with our well stocked ipods, and no diapers so we'll be judicious about stopping for Big Gulps! Onward! Hit the Road, Jack! And Rachael, Paige, Gladys and Kathryn - Quite a Crew!

She's baaaaack!.........Back to the Future!

"If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home!" - Anonymous Teacher

Andie is going "Back to School" ...yep, all the way back to Middle School! This time around she'll be Teaching at Fisher in Los Gatos; finishing up her Masters credential from Santa Clara University. Andie will be great with the 6th through 8th graders. She happened to have 2 extreme experiences during her own middle school years.

For 6th and 7th grade, Andie was at a large public middle school in Seattle, (actually Redmond) Washington. Those years are awkward anyway and big classrooms don't help. Nothing disastrous took place but overall they weren't stellar years in Andie's education either academically or socially! But by 8th grade we'd moved back to California (northern versus southern this time) and Andie had the good fortune to experience a small private school, Almaden Country School. She was embraced, loved, nurtured, and ACS left an indelible mark (for the better) on her psyche. Andie went from feeling like a "nobody" to someone who was every bit as "gifted" as the next guy. She developed a new sense of self; she was liked by her peers, encouraged by her teachers, and applauded by the cohesive staff generally. It was a healthy environment and we were impressed enough to keep Webb and Paige at the K thru 8th until they were off to high school!

While every school has challenges (class size, resources, funding, school politics, etc.); teachers do make a huge difference! They can cultivate a love of learning and inspire students to be their best!

Andie will be a great addition to the Special Ed. staff at Fisher. She'll be working hard for no pay (just like her Mom teaching Seminary! ha!) but the experience should be invaluable (again, just like her Moms)! But unlike her Mom, her apprenticeship should lead to "A Real Job" (with $$$, benefits, et.al.) So, here's to a great semester for Andie as she goes Back to School! Hope she sees some of her friends there (Justin, Natasha, Christina N., Christina L., Kaden, Eric, Hannah, Clayton, etc.). Happy 1st Day!

Oatmeal...Anyone?

"You have to eat oatmeal or you'll dry up. Anybody knows that." -Eloise, in Kay Thompson's Eloise

One of the best things about having Paigey around in the summer is having someone to make Breakfast for! She's leaving on Thursday for BYU and soon I'll have no one to make OATMEAL for in the mornings!

Women are hard-wired for nurturing and what better way to nurture and nourish than by fixing your daughter a warm bowl of oatmeal with fruit? I like a routine and happily for me, so does Paige. She's pretty content to eat oatmeal most mornings with some variations.

Most people who grew up in cold climates were brainwashed about the Power of Oatmeal! Mothers promised us: "Oatmeal will stick to your ribs! Oatmeal will sustain! Oatmeal is the proper fuel for inclement weather!" It appears that oatmeal is a WONDER GRAIN! In fact, some research shows that oatmeal can make dieting even easier because it keeps you feeling full longer!

Sadly, lots of people have no appreciation for oatmeal in their breakfast bowl! According to Kimberley Parsons, a pretty Texas lady: "We don't eat the stuff, we put it on our faces!" Well, those Texans can sport their face masks but the NorCal fit crowd knows that A Bowl of Oatmeal a Day Keeps the Doctor Away!

Rest, Renewal, Rejuvenation!

The painting on the left, titled Renewal is by artist Rachel Baum. For her, the 7 boxes represent the year 2007. For me, the 7 boxes could represent the cycle of the week, culminating with The Sabbath Day (a time of Renewal for me).

I saw a cartoon of 2 kids out walking with the verse bubble stating: "Our Grandfathers called it The Sabbath, Our Fathers called it Sunday, .... And We call it The Weekend."

It feels like Saturdays and Sundays have secularly morphed into days without much to distinguish one day from the other. But it wasn't always this way. When we lived in Massachusetts in the early 1980's The Blue Laws were still in effect where retail stores were all closed on Sunday. It was kind of funny to move from Utah to Boston and have Boston be the place where everything was closed on Sunday. (Who'd have thought?!) Eventually the Blue Laws were deemed unconstitutional - I think in 1994(?) so I'm sure the retail in Massachusetts is like the rest of the country: crowded shopping malls all weekend long!

While the Sabbath Day is founded on a religious premise; I think it's sage counsel for any community. There is merit in the idea of a work week of 5 days, a day of play (Saturday) and a day of rest (Sunday). Having a time of refuge is a healthy way to recharge! As it says in the Bible: "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath." Mark 2:27

In the book, "Sabbath," Wayne Muller calls the Sabbath Day a time of "Pampering for the Soul." I love that description! Sundays can be a good day to disconnect from the frenzy of consuming and from all the stimulus competing for our attention. Muller talks about the seductions of modern life crying out to us all week long: "Buy me. Watch me. Try me. Drink me." A Sunday of relaxation leaves us feeling nourished spiritually and refreshed enough to take on the fast pace and challenges of the week ahead! I'm never as good as I should be about honoring the Sabbath but I definitely like the concept of pampering my soul!

"Assault" and the Rest of the Story!

For the record, I should state that we have been blessed with great neighbors on both sides of our home!

The house below us has the most easy going people; NOTHING riles them (OUR kids throwing parties, THEIR kids throwing parties, noise at any hour, It's All Good!). They're tree-hugging-good-hearted-people and we've never had a problem with them.

The house above us has a very intense Mom (exact opposite scenario) but we've also never had any problems. They've been exceptionally tolerant of our pool noise and parties even though I know it was probably excruiciatingly painful for them to hear it non-stop during our kids teenage years. Our neighbors LOVED our dog, Kona, who was like their honorary family member. They've been wonderful neighbors and good friends to boot.

When I got a phone message that they'd been "assaulted" I was shocked! This IS NOT a high crime neighborhood! But then the message details went on to describe a classic case of getting TP'd. Yes, their home was Toilet Papered! This was particularly unsettling for this Mom who runs a tight ship and is diligent about rules and regulations! Her twins (just entering high school this year) have impeccable manners! The tee pee caper felt like a violation of the highest order! Frustrating my neighbor even more was her phone call to the local police who wouldn't take her seriously. So she spent the greater part of her day cleaning up toilet paper (46 rolls at last count)!

My initial reaction after listening to my neighbor's voicemail was thinking she seemed to come unglued over something relatively minor. But, here is the rub: After we finally talked together (versus trading messages) I learned that her younger sister had passed away a few days earlier (age 48, with kids still at home, completely unexpected). Suddenly it was obvious WHY she fell apart over the Toilet Paper mess. It really had more to do with grieving her sister's death than the alleged "assault." The teepeeing was kind of a "tipping point" event that put her over the edge!

How often I jump to conclusions about people or situations. And then I find out I only know part of the story. And the missing part is the link that makes it all makes sense! It's hard for me to suppress a little smile thinking about being "assaulted by toilet paper" but now when I think about the incident I'll remember how important the additional information was in understanding her severe reaction!

As a side illustration I once heard a story of a woman riding in a crowded elevator who has her foot stepped on by a man getting in and he offers no apology! The woman is incredulous about the clumsy, ill-mannered man until she looks down and realizes to her horror that his white cane (not his foot!) is what landed on her foot. The man is blind; which instantly changes her perspective completely!

Whether it is my neighbors or strangers in an elevator; I'm sure I'm better off withholding judgment and not jumping to conclusions based on the limited information I have of the whole situation!

Red, no White, and VICTORIOUS Blue! The PCG Olympics!

"All work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy." -Egyptian proverb

PCG employees work hard! And when they play....they play hard too! The annual summer party is a friendly competition between two randomly (?) (okay, Stacy helps with equilibrium) selected teams.

The Events: Starting off with Volleyball, followed up by small group divisions of Darts, Foosball, or Ping Pong. Next it's off to the Bocce Ball courts in Los Gatos for bocce, drinks, and appetizers. And finishing off the Sports Challenges... the Basketball Free Throw.

All the action makes both teams hungry! Andale caters Mexican fare followed up with our traditional Carrot and Banana Cake from Iciing on the Cake for all contestants!

It is probably a more active company party than most; but this IS a group that champions "healthy living and aging." (straight from their mission statement!) So, they'd better be a Fit and Hearty bunch! It's always a fun event! Stacy and I have the party planning down to an art - Stace is the best to work with! And kudos to helpful party goers who stuck around for the Closing Ceremonies (aka clean up). Three cheers for Geoff and Westin!

This year the Award for the Cutest Kid...the Gold medal goes to Owen Schiller (1st birthday yesterday). Owen could have some stiff competition in 2010 with the Harts and the Bairds both expecting babies!

In a breaking development, there has been discussion about adding new Events to the line up. One possible new challenge that was previewed by a lucky few (who proceeded to TELL ALL - thank you Paige!) is the CAKE TOSS event! In a stunning performance, there was a special time trial/dry run where the skilled athlete managed to gracefully take not just one BUT TWO cakes from a fridge shelf catapulting both into an amazing mid air launch, soaring over the stove and landing on countertop and hardwood flooring in a complete 180! It was spectacular! But this event should only be attempted by serious, well trained athletes. It is not recommended to try the Cake Toss in your own home.

For 2009 the scores were close but the Blue Team was dominant in the end! Winners received $25 itunes gift cards! And it's Back to Work for PCG!

Ready or Not! HERE WE COME!

Wednesday night I was at a Jackson Browne concert in Oakland when it hit me! I'm not sure if I ever told our kids the story of how their Father learned the news that he was going to be a DAD! (You'll see the connection momentarily).

First of all, Brent has always loved Jackson Browne! So, when I was a little nervous about announcing that I was PREGNANT for the first time... who better to disclose the information but Jackson Browne. I knew Brent would be excited about impending fatherhood, BUT The timing WAS a little sooner than we'd Expected to be Expecting! I was working at Marriott Corporation in Management Engineering (which had nothing to do with my English major - but it was a cool job). AND I was in the throes of filling out business school applications and Brent was in his second year of law school. While Parenting was definitely in our plans; getting law school behind us seemed like a reasonable idea too (oh well!).

There happens to be a Jackson Browne song titled "Ready or Not" and some of the lyrics were perfect for our situation. So, I put a tape cassette of the song in Brent's car with a note to play it and then call me when he got to school (back in the day before CD's, ipods, and cell phones).

The song tells how Jackson Browne discovered his girlfriend was pregnant and the opening lines are: "Someone's going to have to explain it to me, I'm not really sure what it means. My baby's feeling funny in the morning, She's having trouble getting into her jeans. Her waist-line seems to be expanding, Although she never feels like eating a thing." And so on...

Ready or Not! It's a perfect tag line to describe taking on The Adventures of Parenting! Seriously, is anyone ever ready, really? I certainly read plenty of advice books: before kids, during kids, and I still read them even though my kids technically aren't "kids." Guess I am a classic example that you can read parenting manuals by the dozen but it's all a little trial and error! Or, as Dan Bennett noted: "Training a baby by the book is a good idea, only you need a different book for each baby." Customized Instruction Manuals! - that would be nice.

So, Ready or Not, They Came (3 of them)! Fortunately, children are pretty resilient; which is a good thing since most Moms and Dads are just winging it as we go along. Ready or Not!

NieNie....A New Normal

I have never met Stephanie Nielson so it is a little odd to write about her but I am a big admirer! Stephanie writes the "NieNie" Dialogues" and survived a horrific plane crash one year ago. The lower photo is the first
picture Stephanie posted of herself since that accident.

As you can see, Stephanie is a beautiful woman who endured a horrendous year with amazing grace and dignity. When their small plane crashed in Arizona, Stephanie and her husband were critically injured, and their friend was killed. Stephanie's burns covered her entire body. Her husband's injuries were less serious so his hospital stay and rehabilitation were much shorter. The Nielson's 4 young children were cared for by extended family.

If you read Stephanie's blog (both before & after the crash) you realize that Stephanie has an Incredible Testimony about our purpose here on earth and What is Important in Life. She has a love for life; she loves her children, loves her husband, and has fit a whole lot of living into her years (I don't think she is even 30 years old).

The tragic accident that left her physical body disfigured would be an emotional devastation for anyone. But I have been so impressed with her candor about how difficult it has been but also very touched by her determination to make the best of a heart wrenching situation.

Stephanie is grateful to be alive. At the same time, there is the harsh reality of a changed body physically. A New Normal. And yet, my reaction to seeing Stephanie's picture was probably similar to anyone who has come to admire this family during their harrowing journey. I was struck by how beautiful she looked; albeit, a different, more of an ethereal beauty! But beauty nonetheless.

The day Stephanie posted the new picture of herself she included the most poignant quote by Washington Irving (it is almost eerie/uncanny how fitting it is):

"There is in every true woman's heart a spark of heavenly fire,

which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity;

but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."

Stephanie's sister, Courtney, is a gifted writer who also blogs (cjanerun.blogspot.com) and reading both of their touching posts are incredibly INSPIRING! These are two young women who really have a lot of Age Old Wisdom! Sometimes I whine and complain about trivial things and then I discover someone like Stephanie who has lived through a nightmare and Finds the Silver Linings! Amazing, Special People!

Grammy Quizzes! The Birthday Girl!

Today is my Mom's Birthday! She's been a wonderful example to me and my family in many ways. Grammy is kind, caring and always looking out for the Underdog! Since she is in impeccable health, Grammy should be celebrating lots of future birthdays, so there will be other blogs posts.

But today I wanted to write about "Grammy Quizzes!" When her Grandchildren were young there were several summers when Grammy put together a Summertime Quiz for all of her Grandchildren.

The Questions were always related to Information about Family (usually with a specific focus like "The Ranch in Star Valley, Wyoming" or "The Brighton Cabin" or "Sun Valley, Idaho" or"Family Trivia!" Questions were a mix: multiple choice, fill in the blank, true/false, etc.

And here is the perk: Correct Answers were worth ridiculous amounts of money for young Grandkids. If memory serves me right, sometimes there might be 20 questions for $5 per answer which could help a kid earn a fast $100. As long as they knew things like "What law school did Gramps attend?" or "Gramps did the legal work in 1977 when (fill in the blank) bought Sun Valley?" (Stanford, Earl Holding)

Grammy made sure that all the Grandkids scored well! As the test proctor she'd give credit for any answer that could be justified! The "Grammy Quizzes" were just a CLEVER way for her to make sure her Grandkids were learning about their ancestors, and about places that are special to our family, or our history, etc.

Yep, my Mom is your classic School Teacher, full of creative ideas and ways to find teaching moments and make it fun! And considering how much cash she offered for those quizzes, clearly she is not opposed to bribery either!

One Hecka Cute Kid! The Singing Sunbeam!

This is a year-old picture of Ryan Barth (taken at age 2 and he is now 3 and Potty Trained) but it is TOO CUTE not to use! It was taken in the Nursery while the Toddlers were singing "Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam." Thus the Sunbeam Hat/Halo atop his head! Ryan was the most animated singer in the class! At first he didn't want to wear the Sunbeam headdress and then he didn't want to take it off!

Two other highlights for Ryan in the Nursery are the Bubble Machine (it is pretty cool) and Marching around to the song "Called to Serve." He could do it endlessly and always with a proud march and a big smile!

So, this past week Tia has been back east visiting her brother in Washington, D.C. She has organized a crew of volunteers to help with the kids. Today Ryan and I had this little conversation that I wish I could have videotaped. It was one of those tender moments that you can't recreate and even though I'll share it with Tia it won't be quite the same.

While we were driving along in their Mom Van; Ryan was telling me that he was missing his Mom (not in a sad way but just very matter-of-fact). Then he proceeded to tell me that "Ashley misses my Mom, and Natalie misses my Mom, and my Dad misses my Mom (again, he wasn't upset - just factual). Soon he said: "We Pretty Much ALL Miss My Mom!"

Ryan was quiet for a minute, then said very seriously: "Kaf-run, Do You Miss My Mom Too?" And, since my 12 mile run on Saturday ended up as a 9 miler because Tia wasn't around to spur me along (distance/misery loves company); I was honestly able to say: "Yes, Ryan, I miss your Mom too!"

Another silence and then to console me Ryan said: "It's okay Kaf-run. She isn't going to be gone forever!" Whew!....that is good to know Ryan! There is nothing quite like getting sincere reassurance from a 3 year old!