Carpe Diem!

"We live in deeds, not years; in thoughts, not breaths;

In feelings, not in figures on a dial.

We should count time by heart throbs. He most lives

Who thinks most, feels the noblest, acts the best.

And he whose heart beats quickest lives the longest;

Lives in one hour more than in years do some

Whose fat blood sleeps as it slips along their veins.

Life's but a means unto an end; that end,

Beginning, mean, and end to all things - God.

The dead have all the glory of the world."

-Philip James Bailey

What a great poem and a perfect reminder that time is one of those funny (strange funny) things. You can squander time so easily or you can make the moments count.

"Time waits for no man," "time is of the essence," and "time flies when you're having fun" are just a few of the umpteen phrases that remind us that the clock keeps ticking along.

The poem reminds me that time isn't everything nor is it a good way to measure. In Mansfield Park, Jane Austen writes: "Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch."

If You Can Let Go...

The Autumn Sonnets

If I can let you go as trees let go

Their leaves, so casually, one by one,

If I can come to know what they do know

That fall is the release, the consummation,

Then fear of time and the uncertain fruit

Would not distemper the great lucid skies

This strangest autumn, mellow and acute.

If I can take the dark with open eyes

And call it seasonal, not harsh or strange

(For love itself may need a time of sleep),

And treelike, stand unmoved before the change,

Lose what I lose to keep what I can keep,

The strong root still alive under the snow,

Love will endure - - if I can let you go. -May Sarton

This poem can apply to many things: relationships, children, situations, etc. It is almost always in 'letting go' that the deeper and more authentic love is allowed to show it's true face.

"The Autumn Sonnets" is just another cool poem in my collection of "favorites." One reason I like it is because of the variety of ways it could be meaningful to someone. The need to 'let go' is pretty universal albeit in different forms. I also think May Sarton was a talented poet, kind of a forerunner to Mary Oliver, and she probably never got the recognition for her writing that she deserved.

I was the quite the babysitter find!

A conversation at a baby shower yesterday got me thinking about babysitting circa 1972.

I did lots of babysitting as a teenager! The going rate was 50 cents a hour when I first started and probably a dollar and a half by the time "real" jobs replaced my babysitting career.

The parents who hired me had a great thing going! First of all, I took the "leave the home cleaner than you found it" dictum to heart. If parents left their place trashed, they'd return to a sparkling clean home! I was kind of a kid version of Mr. Clean to the rescue!

After I'd put the kids to bed, which is when most babysitters would turn on the TV and/or gab on the phone, I'd start to clean! For some reason, probably because it was other people's homes, I even enjoyed it! I would do dishes. I'd vacuum. I'd even scrub bathrooms!

During my teenage years it really did not occur to me what a great deal these families had going. In hiring my services they scored a 2 for 1 deal! Kids Alive? Check. Spotless Countertops? Check. Parents payed for child care and got maid service at no additional charge.

Years later when the tables were turned and I was hiring babysitters rather than being one, I found some great babysitters for my kiddos. But I don't recall any of them that were so fastidious about the condition of the home. And the going rate had gone up 10 fold. Oh, well!

I Must Remember....

I Must Remember by Shel Silverstein

I must remember. . .

Turkey on Thanksgiving,

Pudding on Christmas,

Eggs on Easter,

Chicken on Sunday,

Fish on Friday,

Leftovers, Monday.

But ah, me - I'm such a dunce.

I went and ate them all at once.

Since the cornucopia symbolizes food, harvest, and abundance, this picture denotes the food overload the Thanksgiving weekend brings. After a hearty feast I always remember the Shel Silverstein poem above.

It's hard to escape the food deluge that starts Thanksgiving day and carries on through Christmas. I simply need to focus more on the fruits and vegetables and less on the rolls, the stuffing, the gravy, and the pies.

I wish we could spread the Thanksgiving meal out to consume over the course of the week. I'd much rather graze in incremental stretches than sit down and gorge for one gluttonous meal. This year, however, I think I managed to do both! Inadvertently, of course!

Be Thankful!

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire; if you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something for it gives you opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times; during those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for each new challenge because it will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes; they will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when your tired and weary because it means you've made a difference.

It is easy to be thankful for the good things. A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings. - Author Unknown

Happy Thanksgiving!

"Be Grateful! Walk with gratitude in your hearts. Be thankful for the wonderful blessings which are yours. Be grateful for the tremendous opportunities that you have.

Say thank you to your friends. Say thank you to your teachers. Express appreciation to everyone who does you a favor or assists you in any way." -President Gordon B. Hinckley, from The 6 Be's

The 6 Be's was originally a talk given to the youth by President Hinckley in 1996. The original 6 were: 1. Be grateful 2. Be smart 3. Be clean 4. Be true 5. Be humble 6. Be prayerful. The talk was so popular it evolved into a book. And the book added 3 more Be's: Be still, Be positive and Be involved.

But, I've always noticed that 1st on the list (in the talk and in the book) is Be Grateful! Or, as Cicero, the Roman philosopher, aptly said: "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."

There was a great article in the Wall Street Journal on Tuesday suggesting that research shows that gratitude can improve our psychological, our emotional, and our physical well-being. Grateful people have been found to have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not.

Studies also show that grateful people are less likely to be depressed, envious, greedy or alcoholics. Furthermore, grateful people earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections.

A landmark study at the University of Miami in 2003 showed that counting blessings can actually make people feel better. Counting blessings also forces people to overcome "the negativity bias" - the innate tendency to dwell on problems, annoyances and injustices rather than upbeat events.

"Count your many blessings; Name them one by one. Count your many blessings; See what God hath done." -Count Your Blessings, LDS Hymn #241

A Fable on Looking for God...

"A tyrant ruled in a far-off land and had an ironclad grip over all parts of his kingdom, except for one frustrating area. He was unable to destroy the people's belief in God.

He summoned his counselors and put the question to them: "Where can I hide God so that the people will end up forgetting him?"

One counselor suggested that God be hidden on the dark side of the moon. This proposal was debated for some time, but voted down because it was believed that one day scientists would discover a means of space travel and God would end up being found again.

Another advisor to the tyrant came up with the idea of burying God beneath the depths of the ocean floor. This was voted down for basically the same reason - it was felt that scientific advancement would lead to the discovery of God even beneath the depths of the ocean floor.

Finally the oldest and wisest of the counselors had a flash of insight. "I know," he said, "why don't we hide God where no one will ever think of finding him?" He explained, "If we hide God in the ordinary events of people's everyday lives they'll never find him."

And so it was done - and they say that people are still looking for God - even today."

I like this fable. I've had it in my files for years and I'm not sure where I originally found it. But it's appropriate at Thanksgiving time since during this season people do turn to "see God."

And when we are looking we usually find that God actually turns up in the simple, routine events of our lives. I notice that truism more clearly during the Thanksgiving season just because I'm more aware of our abundance this time of year. Watching for and finding God's hand in our everyday lives turns out to be a treasured gift in itself!

Gratefulness makes us Happy!

"In daily life we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy." -David Steindl-Rast

Thanksgiving is a great holiday! A time set aside to focus on our blessings. The whole premise of hosting a feast around expressions of giving thanks - what a brilliant idea.

The roots and history of the 1st Thanksgiving are varied depending on which sources I check. Clearly the feast we consume today probably bears little resemblance to the original Thanksgiving in 1621.

For Seminary we've departed from church history curriculum this week to focus on gratitude. I noticed on Monday that just talking about being thankful with my students puts everyone in happier spirits. Stopping to take notice of good things in my life has a natural effect of making me feel grateful. It's almost a Pavlovian response. I guess I should probably do it more often!

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude." -Cynthia Ozick

The Sin of Omission

It isn't the thing you do;

It's the thing you leave undone,

Which gives you a bit of heartache

At the setting of the sun.

The tender word forgotten,

The letter you did not write,

The flower you might have sent,

And your haunting ghosts at night.

The stone you might have lifted

Out of a brother's way,

The bit of heartsome counsel

You were hurried to much to say:

Th loving touch of the hand,

the gentle and winsome tone,

That you had no time or thought for

With troubles enough of your own.

The little acts of kindness

So easily out of mind;

Those chances to be helpful

Which everyone may find -

No, it's not the thing you do,

It's the thing you leave undone,

Which gives you the bit of heartache

At the setting of the sun.

-Margaret E. Sangster

Weekend at the Theatre...

One of the perks of Brent's calling as Bishop is invitations to all sorts of youth activities. We've been to swim meets, football games, piano recitals, the ballet, Eagle scout projects, and lots of school plays.

This weekend we spent Friday night at Mirror Image and Saturday night at Bye Bye Birdie. Both middle school productions were great. I've learned to attend with a marginally low expectation and then I'm almost always surprised by how good the shows actually are.

Allen Graves was Albert, a lead role in Bye Bye Birdie which is always a fun musical. Allen seems to have the Graves musical gene and an extrovert personality to boot. Allen's stage career may just be getting started.

I wasn't familiar with the 'enchanted' musical production of Mirror Image and it was darling. Kaden Bohn was The Woodsman and Christina Noskowki was Little Red Riding Hood. Like Allen, Christina and Kaden are 2 talented thespians. And, Fisher Middle School knows how to put on a great play.

It's a shame we don't put on church roadshows anymore. The Los Gatos Ward could be serious competitors in stage productions with our abundant pool of youth in drama.

On a side (but related) note, this week in Seminary I learned that the word hypocrite in Greek means actor (since it refers to someone playing a part). Still, it just doesn't sound right to call these talented youth hypocrites! Even if they are good actors!

The Fringe Benefits of Failure...

"A mere 7 years after my graduation day, I had failed on an epic scale. An exceptionally short-lived marriage had imploded, and I was jobless, a lone parent, and as poor as it is possible to be in modern Britain, without being homeless." -J.K. Rowling

The new Harry Potter movie (Paige saw it at midnight opening night) has me thinking about the commencement speech JK Rowling gave at Harvard in June, 2008. Rowling talked about the fringe benefits of failure and the importance of imagination. I think I'll just take on failure now and post on imagination later.

Anyway, J.K. Rowling believes that failing at life post college was a blessing in disguise for her personally. While failing was not fun, Rowling learned that she was stronger than she thought. And, once she saw she could survive failure, Rowling emerged strong and wiser from the setbacks.

Since failure along the course of life is inevitable for all of us (even Harvard graduates) it's nice to see the best-selling writer of all-time attribute some of her success to things she learned about herself when she failed.

Perhaps my favorite soundbite from Rowling's commencement address is when she tells the graduates that they can't spend the rest of their lives blaming their parents when their lives don't go as planned. Actually, she stated it more eloquently, so read the direct quote below and imagine the British accent....

"There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, responsibility lies with you." -J. K. Rowling

V is for vacuum...

"I like to vacuum every 6 months whether it needs it or not!" -this is a direct quote from Grammy (aka my Mom).

When I was growing up my Mom had a fancy Electrolux vacuum but it didn't get a lot of use. She was never overly concerned about the appearance of her home. House cleaning kind of got in the way of her volunteer work!

I admire her ability to not get bothered by a mess. Her priority in focusing on more important things is a great attribute. She served 4 terms on the Salt Lake City School Board (each term 4 years = 16 years). She was the School Board President for much of that stint.

Unfortunately for my children, Grammy's laissez faire attitude for housekeeping did not suit me nor rub off on me. My Dad's interest (okay obsession) with tidyness was the dominant gene in my cleanliness proclivities.

I like to vacuum often and I won't readily define "often" because my answer would leave some people (like my Mom) somewhat incredulous. Let's just say that I am more pleasant to be around once I've tidied up the home front (which does include a quick vacuum job).

I have a friend who always writes "Kathryn V. Knudsen" in addressing mail to me; which she claims the "V." is in honor of "vacuums" that I love so dearly!

So, between the 2 extremes: my mom who vacuums very 6 months (I sincerely hope she is kidding about this) and myself (embarrassingly pretty much daily), there is probably a happy medium. Yes, even vacuuming should probably be done in moderation (much to my chagrin!).

Stuff versus Knowledge...

Poor Andie probably dreams about her annoying mother extolling the virtues of purging. I'm like a broken record when it comes to accumulation of things. My mantra is the antithesis of the Nike slogan, or, Just DON'T Do It!

Alas, it's admittedly easier to tell someone else to avoid material gluttony. I'm never as good at following my own advice as I am at giving it out.

But I was delighted to listen to a BYU Devotional that made ownership of things sound so exhausting, it kept me from purchasing much all week long.

The following admonition from BYU professor, Shawn Miller, might be helpful to put on a 3X5 card in my wallet. Reading a reminder about the hassles of stuff before I buy trinkets or doo-dads could save me lots of money. See if you have the same reaction:

"Stuff beyond our basic needs does not liberate. Consider the overall investment of your time. You have to shop for stuff. You have to clean, maintain, and organize stuff. You lose stuff. You look for stuff.

You polish stuff, secure it against theft, trip over it, recharge it, upgrade it, accessorize it, pack it, move it, unpack it, insure it, fix it, and eventually sell, trash, or bequeath it.

Stuff has no use beyond this life, and it takes a lot from us.

Very much unlike stuff, knowledge does not depreciate but grows deeper, stronger, and more valuable with each use. Unlike stuff, knowledge has neither mass nor volume and does not take up any space outside the bounds of our cranium.

Unlike in the accumulation of stuff, in getting knowledge you will never have to build a 3-car garage on the side of your head. Your mind has no upper limit of mega-, giga-, or terabytes.

Also, unlike stuff, know can be given to others without diminishing our stock. In fact, sharing knowledge tends to better burnish it in the giver's mind.

Best of all, knowledge you can take with you. What you learn, unlike what you buy, will pass with you from this life to the next." -Shawn Miller, from a BYU devotional given in August, 2010

Remarkable Resilience!

We all gave Andie a hard time back in 2003 when she was the resident expert on the Elizabeth Smart kidnapping. Andie kept current on every detail. I think Andie felt an eerie connection because at age 14, the picture on the "Elizabeth Smart Missing" flyers had an uncanny resemblance to Paige.

My apologizes to Andie for teasing her about her obsession 7 years ago because last week I became fascinated reading transcripts from the ongoing trial for Brian David Mitchell, Smith's abductor.

Reading Elizabeth Smart's testimony in the court proceedings it's astonishing to learn of the horrendous things this young innocent 8th grade girl had to endure. The evil and manipulation of this man/monster is appalling.

The whole account is deeply troubling but equally inspiring. It is nothing short of a miracle to see the grace and class shown by Elizabeth Smart. Many victims who live through traumas of abuse never recover. And Elizabeth endured the nightmare for 9 months. No one would be surprised if it messed with her psyche, and yet, Elizabeth Smart testifies with courage, poise, and dignity. Her tenacity is quite amazing!

I'm so impressed at the resiliency of spirit Elizabeth portrays. Her stable mental health seems to be the direct result of wise parenting, supportive extended family, great counseling, and strong faith. It's unfortunate that all "victims" don't have wonderful support systems in place to help recovery. But, it's also reassuring to see that someone who is surrounded by people who love them can get through really difficult things. And even thrive!

One journalist described Elizabeth Smart as no longer a "victim" but an "activist." It seems she has transformed from "Elizabeth Smart, kidnapped teenage survivor" to "Elizabeth Smart, articulate student, missionary, leader, example of hope!" A happy ending!

What is it worth to your family?

Elder Neil L. Andersen's wife, Kathy, spoke at the Saratoga Stake Conference and shared a story where I felt a parallel narrative from my own life.

When her children were young, Sister Andersen took the General Conference Ensign to make photocopies for each of her children so they could study the talks together as a family.

After making the copies the charge was $50. Sister Anderson felt sick to spend so much on such a small thing until she asked herself the question, "What is it worth to you to have the words of God's prophets for you and your family?"

My narrative is not quite as impressive but I did have a similar experience. Before our trip to Israel last Christmas, our tour guide, Garland Dennant, sent me 2 copies of the workbook he put together on the Holy Land.

After glancing at the workbook I felt really strongly that each family member should have their own personal copy to read, to take notes on, to save, etc. So, I proceeded to make 3 more copies and when the total was nearly $100 I had a similar reaction to Sister Anderson. I wondered if it had been silly to have 5 printed copies of Garland's Holy Land guidebook.

But, as I used my copy during the our trip to highlight and write notes, and, as I've used it since as a great reference and to remember places; I'm really grateful to have my own personal copy and can't really put a value on how much it is worth. While my kid's copies may not get heavily used now, I hope it's a workbook they'll return to over the years to remember the places they went where our Savior walked. And, how much is that worth? ...Obviously, priceless!

You Know Enough...

"We come to know what we already knew... You don't know everything, but you know enough." -Neil L. Anderson

Those 2 lines come from a General Conference address 1 year ago. And, over the past weekend, the Saratoga Stake had the opportunity to hear Elder Neil L. Anderson speak locally as he presided over our stake conference. During the 15 years we've lived here, this is the first visit from one of the 12 Apostles to our stake congregation. Needless to say, as a stake, we've all been very excited!

Elder Anderson was ordained an Apostle in 2009 following the death of Joseph B. Wirthlin. Elder Wirthlin gave such fabulous talks that I was particularly sorry to lose the cute man. I also loved Elder Wirthlin's passion for U of U football (former player, ongoing fan).

So, in my book, Elder Anderson was stepping into some large shoes to fill! Now, after I felt the spirit he brought to our Saratoga Stake Conference, I'm satisfied that he's measuring right up!

Stake conference was wonderful. Elder Anderson is kind and caring. He made an effort to mingle and to shake the hands of members. He's genuine, humble and shared comments to remind us that he may be one of the quorum of the twelve but he's also a regular guy.

When Elder Anderson was serving as a General Authority his then 14 yr. old son noted that he was pretty sure that the calling came from the Lord since he didn't think anyone else would think of his Dad.

Most of his comments at stake conference were fairly typical topics: enduring through mortality, responding to promptings, righteousness qualifying us for companionship of the Holy Ghost, looking to our Prophet (President Monson) for an example of caring for others, etc.

But, after pondering (a word I love which he used many times :) Elder Anderson's remarks and reading my notes, I realize that it was not so much what he said as the spirit you felt in his presence. There is a sincerity to his countenance. He is full of love for all people. It would be nearly impossible to be around Elder Anderson and not feel touched by the warmth of his spirit.

One thing Elder Anderson said that has been percolating in my head since yesterday relates to the gift of the Holy Ghost. Elder Anderson pointed out that having the spirit puts us in a position where there will be things we cannot do, and places we might not go, etc., because of the influence of the Holy Ghost working in our lives. Finally, he said there are also going to be things we cannot accept and he noted that this can be hard.

That final comment is profound. I don't really have much desire to be in places where I shouldn't be or do things I'd be better off not doing. But, within the world, it is hard that there will be unacceptable behavior, and while we may love the people, we cannot accept their choices as moral or okay. And, it's nice to know that even an Apostle of the Lord notes that this can be hard.

What Matters Most...

"Some things don't matter much. Like the color of a house. How big is that in the overall scheme of life? But lifting a person's heart - - now, that matters. The whole problem with people is - - - they know what matters, but they don't choose it . . . The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters." -from The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd

It would take a fictional character in a novel to say it just right! This quote does nail one of the age old conundrums. I certainly suffer from the ongoing choosing-the-better-part dilemma.

It's easy to understand that choices about colors aren't on the same level of importance as choosing people; choosing to lift, give, and serve. But "knowing things" doesn't mean I always act in accordance with my knowledge. I still get tripped up time and again by putting more significance on things than people.

Still, it's good to be reminded. Even reprimanded. I'm still a work in progress. Half a century worth of slow progress. Followed by a misstep. And hopefully more progress. It's a never ending struggle between knowing and doing. What I know matters the most gets trumped by the trivial. Luckily, there is always tomorrow, offering another chance to practice...

Talent is Overrated!

"I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein

I've spent most of my life thinking I had zero talent! In the most obvious forms I usually do fall short (sometimes a little, sometimes a lot). You won't find me singing in the choir or performing onstage! And I'm not a great athlete (but I do have decent endurance).

Most domestic pursuits are a stretch for me; I could sew you a costume but probably not anything you'd want to wear more than once!

So, my point is, that the skill sets that society validates are not really my forte, per se. But, I do have a few traits that are sort of like talents, if "talent" can be loosely defined as something we show a natural aptitude for.

Here are a few skills I'm not half bad at:

I Like People! I genuinely do like people and I genuinely like to see others succeed.

I Enjoy Service! I find service really satisfying. Sometimes I like volunteering more than I like getting paid for something. Getting paid takes some of the fun out of the work.

I Like Learning! I never tire of reading new books, philosophies, great thoughts, etc. Learning just for the sake of learning.

So, those examples just go to show you that having a singing voice like an angel isn't everything! No offense to those who do! I like to listen to you sing!

Becoming a Hero...

"Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men. Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or weak; and at last some crisis shows what we have become. -Brooke Foss Westcott

I thought of this quote when I watched a powerful youtube video titled "Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light."

In 2007, Chris Williams was driving home with his family when their car was hit by a teenage drunk driver, killing Chris's pregnant wife Michelle, his son Ben, and his only daughter Anna.

The immediate forgiveness Chris showed toward the young man responsible for the tragedy was amazing! While feeling totally crushed and grieving over his loss Chris still had an incredible ability to show love and compassion for the young man, much like our Savior would.

The quote above reminds me of a comment in the video when Chris's stake president noted that it was almost as if Chris's whole life had been preparing him all along for this event.

Heroes are not made in the moments but it's the choices they make along the way that prepare them to be heroic when the occasion arises. I really do believe that.

It's hard to watch the video and not feel deeply touched by this good man. His ability to freely forgive after his devastating loss has to be the result of a lifetime of striving to be Christlike in manner and deed.

It's been 3 years since the tragic accident and Chris is able to state that he is "grateful that God allows tragedies and trials in our lives because they help us love." I don't think there is anything else I can to add to that! Except that if you haven't watched the youtube video, make sure you do!

Also, the picture for this post is unrelated in any way to the text, although I also find the picture inspiring - so it worked for me.

Why I Wake Early...

Why I Wake Early by Mary Oliver

Hello, sun in my face.

Hello, you who made the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety -

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light -

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

The Fire That Burns Within Us....

At the end of his journey sailing under the flag of Spain, Christopher Columbus went to Barelona to give his official report to King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella on what he had found. His discoveries changed the course of history and changed the world. Below is a great quote Columbus shared with the Spanish monarchs:

"With a hand that could be felt, the Lord opened my mind to the fact that it would be possible to sail and he opened my will to desire to accomplish the project... this was the fire that burned within me... Who can doubt that this fire was not merely mine, but also of the Holy Spirit... urging me to press forward?"

I love this Christopher Columbus quote! First, his description of the Lord "opening his mind" to the possibilities and giving him the ambition (which Columbus calls a "will to desire to accomplish") practically gives me goosebumps! I concur with Columbus: who can doubt that the "fire that burned" wasn't merely his alone but the promptings of the Holy Ghost as well!

The quote also ends with Columbus pointing out that this fire urged him to press forward. Which reminds me of our church hymn, Press Forward Saints! The hymn has always been one of my favorites and now I'll also think of Christopher Columbus when I sing it!

"Press forward, Saints, with steadfast faith in Christ,

With hope's bright flame alight in heart and mind,

With love of God and love of all mankind.

Al-le-lu-ia! Al-le-lu-ia! Al-le-lu-ia!"

- 1st verse, Press Forward, Saints, text by Marvin K. Gardner (based on 2nd Nephi 31:20).

Nan Hunter...Warts and All

The saying "Warts and All" is attributed to Thomas Cromwell. When Cromwell became Lord Protector of England a famous artist was painting his portrait. During the sitting Cromwell was surprised to see the artist gloss over his rough and undesirable features. So, legend claims that Cromwell instructed the artist to use his skill to paint him like he truly was, warts and all!

When Nan Hunter received her service award last Friday night she used Cromwell's phrase to share some amusing Nan stories.

Nan thanked the award sponsors and especially noted how kind they'd been to profile only her achievements, leaving out the warts. Then she pointed out a few!

For example, Nan noted that while she did indeed raise 8 children, they failed to mention that she was usually late for church with her brood of young kids. And sometimes they arrived and not everyone had shoes on their feet. Then, following church meetings she often got home before noticing that a child (or 2) had been inadvertently left at the church building.

Nan thanked the award presenter for mentioning the school she started. She then noted that after starting the school she received a phone call from the principal while Nan was away on a trip. The principal asked Nan if her daughter, Merilee, had her driver's license. When Nan reported "no," the principal informed Nan that Merilee was driving her siblings to school, as well as driving all over Almaden! Oops!

In her usual self-deprecating way, Nan acknowledged her shortcomings. But, Nan also shared gratitude for the many ways she's been able to serve over the years despite those shortcomings because people allowed her to do things when she didn't necessarily know what she was doing. Nan truly believes many of her achievements are simply a result of people giving an ordinary woman and mother a chance to try things!

A motto that could be ascribed to Nan is that "it is better to 'do things' rather than wait until you can 'do them perfectly'!" For example, it's better to take a flat loaf of bread to someone than wait until you can bake a perfect loaf. It's better to play a bad game of tennis than not play. Etc.

Nan is truly one of my favorite people! She concluded noting how in the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord often refers to Joseph Smith as "my servant Joseph." Nan has decided that she would prefer to be a servant in the house of the Lord than to be a queen in any country! She thinks "my servant Nan" has a nice ring to it! I think ...you've gotta love Nan, warts and all!

A poem to mark the end of Daylight Savings...

Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness

by Mary Oliver

Every year we have been

witness to it; how the

world descends

into a rich mash, in order that

it may resume.

And therefore

who would cry out

to the petals on the ground

to stay,

knowing, as we must,

how the vivacity of what was is married

to the vitality of what will be?

I don't say

it's easy, but

what else will do

if the love one claims to have for the world

be true?

So let us go on

though the sun be swinging east,

and the ponds be cold and black,

and the sweets of the year be doomed.

One of the perks of being an avid reader of The New York Times is the treasures you find. I'm a big fan of the poet Mary Oliver but never read her poem above until I saw it in The Times on Sunday. Serendipity!

President Hunter & the Balanced Life...

On Friday night we attended a BYU Management Awards Dinner to recognize the distinguished service of Don Ainge and Richard and Nan Hunter. One highlight of the evening was seeing friends from our Almaden Country School days (esp. Principal Jean Delwiche).

President Hunter's remarks are worth noting. He talked about a time in his life when he was too busy to do everything on his plate. He was a young dad, starting his law career, and serving as a new bishop.

In his struggle to find a good balance he ordered self-help tape cassettes he saw advertised in a sky mall airline magazine. The first thing the tapes encouraged him to do was list the things he valued in life and then assess where he spent the bulk of his time.

As President Hunter considered the things he valued he recognized the need for a spiritual component to overarch every area in his life. Without that spiritual component, he felt like none of the other things really mattered much. With it, he found peace and hope in every area.

For President Hunter this realization was a watershed event! The simple message of maintaining that spiritual component in his life changed him. It changed the way he practiced law, it changed his church service, it changed his parenting.

Furthermore, President Hunter noticed the balance he'd been searching for fell naturally into place as he approached things with spiritual eyes. Not a bad approach to find balance!

"Mankind is meant to serve each other." -Richard A. Hunter

Eating A Whale - One Bite At A Time!

Melinda Mae by Shel Silverstein

Have you heard of tiny Melinda Mae,

Who ate a monstrous whale?

She thought she could,

She said she would,

So she started in right at the tail.

And everyone said, "You're much too small,"

But that didn't bother Melinda at all,

She took little bites and she chewed very slow,

Just like a little girl should...

...and eighty-nine years later she ate that whale

Because she said she would!

Shel Silverstein was a family favorite when the kids were little. I think Jimmy Jet might have been the first poem Webb memorized (which he presented in Miss Nelson's 5th grade class dressed up like Jimmy Jet). Jimmy watches so much TV that he turns into a TV set!

I like the Melinda Mae poem because the little girl has confidence in herself and isn't deterred by the opinion of others! And she perseveres! My mom (aka Grammy) loves the poem to teach the concept of tackling things one bite/one step at a time! Actually, Grammy has another poem about eating an elephant one bite at a time, but I'll save that for an elephant blog post.

Debunking Happily Ever After...

"It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis." -Margaret Bonnano

I like the quote above because big climactic "happy endings" are mostly found only in fairy tales. But we can still choose to celebrate all the little happy endings along the way.

Wednesday night the theme for the Los Gatos Ward YW in Excellence program was "Your Happily Ever After." Since Brent was asked to give comments I was the annoying wife reminding him not to present the Princess riding off into the sunset with Prince Charming version of blissful happiness! The unrealistic version, that is!

Clearly too many girls have impossible expectations of marriage. Some don't think beyond their lavish weddings! Others (or maybe the same ones) demand perfection in a spouse while forgetting their own flaws.

So Bishop Knudsen did a nice job with his remarks; he probably didn't even need my commentary (but I'm afraid that's something he's stuck with). And seriously, while I never recommend lowering expectations relative to standards, I think being realistic versus head in the clouds about marriage keeps people grounded on what to expect from a spouse. Certainly not someone who will solve all your problems or make you happy 24/7 (that's your own job)!

"It struck me that the movies had spent more than half a century saying, "They lived happily ever after" and the following quarter-century warning that they'll be lucky to make it through the weekend. Possibly now we are entering a third era in which the movies will be sounding a note of cautious optimism: You know it just might work. -Nora Ephron