Saturday, February 27, 2010

What's too painful to remember.... or, The end of innocence...

"Memories, may be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget."
-sung by Barbara Streisand in The Way We Were

As teenagers, Steve Halgren was the Favorite Big Brother! We all adored Steve and felt like Julie was the lucky one to have such a handsome older brother! Plus, Steve was darling to Julie (ever a tease but doting) and remarkably pretty cute to all of us (his kid sister's entourage of goofy friends)!

One of the sadder moments that brought our childhood era to a screeching halt came right after college when Steve and his wife, Vicki, were hit head-on in their car by a drunk driver. The accident killed Steve and just days after his funeral, Vicki went into early labor and their first child, a son was born. Vicki named him Stephen.

I was married & living in Boston at the time. Julie was married & living in Santa Monica. At the time I heard the news it felt unimaginable. Steve Halgren was dead, yet the Steve we knew was more full of life than most people you will ever know. It was awful!

My fondest memories of Steve are at the Halgren's cabin. We'd beg Steve to take us 4 wheeling in his Toyota Land Cruiser. He'd finally relent and we would bounce up and down in the Jeep with Steve's humongous dog, Zeus, along for the wild, all terrain ride!

Julie says that she still thinks about Steve every day. Of course she would - he was the Big Brother we all wanted! I know I think of Steve whenever I read of innocent lives destroyed by people who drink and drive. Steve's death had a profound and lasting effect on all of us. It was unfair, it was preventable, it was horribly tragic! It might have been the first time I truly became aware that sometimes things in life were going to be terribly, terribly sad!

"Offer up your best defense
But this is the end
This is the end of the innocence." -Don Henley, lyrics from This is the End of the Innocence